


Language Confusion at the Beach

by Inkonstantin



Series: Hetalia Beach Fics [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: America drags Germany and Japan to the beach, American English, Brothers Germany & Prussia (Hetalia), Day At The Beach, Deutsch | German, English, Gen, Germany can remember many English words but not the one damn word he's looking for, Humor, Japan is Cool, Japanese, Language Confusion, Languages and Linguistics, Prussia is Best Big Bro, Rated T for swearing, THERE IS A SHARK IN THE WATER, homophones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkonstantin/pseuds/Inkonstantin
Summary: In which America learns (or rather, doesn’t learn) that Germany yelling “Hi fish!” and Japan yelling “Same!” apparently actually means “Watch out America you dumbass there’s a motherfucking shark!”Translation into American English provided by the one and only Awesome Prussia, because he had internet access and apparently speaks fluent Egomaniacal Idiot.
Relationships: America & Germany (Hetalia), America & Japan (Hetalia), Germany & Japan (Hetalia), Germany & Prussia (Hetalia), Japan & Prussia
Series: Hetalia Beach Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826356
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	Language Confusion at the Beach

**Author's Note:**

> Fucking hell but I have been wanting to write this story for _forever._ Was my sister's birthday, so I used the occasion as an excuse to finally write this haha. 
> 
> My sister was absolutely astonished by how cute this apparently ended up being. 
> 
> Important Language Notes:
> 
> The German “Hai / Haifisch” means “Shark” 
> 
> The Japanese “Hai” of course means “Yes,” also has such meanings as “understood” or a question asking “Come again?” 
> 
> The English “Hi” of course means “Hello” 
> 
> The Japanese “鮫” which is written with the Latin characters “Same” but pronounced approximately “saw-meh” means “Shark”

**Language Confusion at the Beach**

America had dragged Japan and Germany to the beach—

and then promptly abandoned them on the sand to go surfing. 

“Then what was the point of dragging us along?” Germany wondered, sighing. He pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I think,” Japan said, watching America riding the waves with unnecessarily dramatic whoops, “that perhaps he just wanted to show off.” He looked at Germany and said, “He probably wouldn’t notice if we leave.” 

“He would notice,” Germany said, sullen, “if only because we all came in one car.” 

“We could hot wire somebody else’s,” Japan suggested mildly. 

“Why,” Germany said, stony and flat, “are you suggesting that we commit a crime, Japan?” 

“Too much anime, perhaps,” Japan said easily, and Germany sighed. 

“Na ja,” Germany said, “we might as well make the most of this trip. The beach is not so bad.” 

Which was how it came to be that Germany and Japan were both seated on beach towels under large sun umbrellas, Germany with a murder mystery and Japan with a shōnen manga, the two of them actually quite content reading in the shade while America surfed. 

Germany enjoyed murder mysteries, and he liked to pause in his reading to think, trying to see if he could figure out the cases before the answers were revealed in the novels. It was during one such pause that he ended up absentmindedly watching America while he was thinking, and it was at that time that he saw the foreboding shape of a curved fin cutting through the water. 

Germany bolted to his feet. He cupped his hands around his mouth to yell, and then stopped, because he realized that he could not remember the English word for the a long-bodied chiefly marine fish with a cartilaginous skeleton, a prominent dorsal fin, and tooth-like scales. 

“Germany?” Japan asked, looking up from his manga. “Is there a problem?” 

Germany gestured in near-panic to the ocean. “There’s a _Hai_ ,” he said, alarmed and frustrated with himself. 

“Hai?” Japan asked, not understanding what Germany meant by saying that there was a confirmation. 

“No, not _hai_ ,” Germany said, having enough experience with Japanese to know a word as simple as “yes” and realizing the language confusion. Frustrated, he reiterated: “There is a _Hai_ —a _Haifisch_.” He waved adamantly at the ocean, hoping that Japan would see the circling fin. “I can’t remember the word in English, but in German it’s a _Haifisch_.” 

Japan looked out at the waves, and when he saw the fin his eyes widened. “Oh,” he breathed, “a 鮫.” 

“What’s the word in English?” Germany demanded, but Japan just shook his head. 

“I can’t remember,” he admitted quietly. Germany gave a frustrated grunt. 

The fin was still circling. In desperation, Germany cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “America! Hai!” He pointed. “There’s a Hai!” 

America, out on his surfboard on the waves, heard Germany yelling “Hi!” and grinned in response. “Hi yourself!” he shouted back. 

Germany, recognizing the language confusion as America mistook his warning for a greeting, grit his teeth before trying again desperately, “America! There’s a _Haifisch!_ A _Haifisch!_ ” 

America, hearing Germany yell “Hi fish!” let out a laugh; for such a serious guy, Germany sure could be funny, sometimes. 

At this point Japan, also incredibly concerned by the circling fin, decided to try as well, calling, “鮫, America! Germany’s saying that there’s a 鮫!” 

America, hearing Japan say “ _Saw-meh!_ ” and assuming that it was his Japanese-accented way of saying “Same!” since the Japanese always seemed to do this thing where they added vowel sounds to the ends of English words, and with Japan’s words somewhat drowned out by the distance and the waves, consequently heard Japan’s shouts as “Same, America! Germany’s saying that they’re the same!” which he took to mean that Japan was also saying hi to the fish, and that Germany was saying that he was the same as the fish. 

It made America laugh, thinking that his friends were quite funny. 

Germany, by this time realizing that his and Japan’s warnings in their own languages weren’t going to be able to get through to America, was struck by an idea and pulled out his cellphone. 

He didn’t have internet where he was, but he could make calls, and so he speed-dialed his brother and held the phone to his ear. 

“Kleiner Bruder!” Prussia answered. “Was geht?” _Little brother! What‘s up?_

“Preußen! Schnell!” Germany said. “Was ist das englische Wort für ‘Haifisch’?!” _Prussia! Quick! What is the English word for ‘Haifisch’?!_

“Was? Die englische Übersetzung von ‚Haifisch‘?” Prussia asked, snorting. “Kannst du das nicht einfach googeln?” _What? The English translation for ‘Haifisch’? Can’t you just google that?_

“Kann das nicht! Hier gibt’s kein Internet!” Germany said, frustrated. “Bruder, bitte schnell! Es gibt einen Haifisch im Meer und ich versuche, Amerika davor zu warnen, aber er versteht mich nicht!” _I can’t! I don‘t have internet here! Brother, please hurry! There’s a shark in the ocean and I’m trying to warn America about it, but he’s not understanding me!_

“Kesese!” Prussia laughed. “Wäre es wirklich so schlimm, wenn der vom Haifisch gefressen würde?” _Would it really be so terrible if he were eaten by the shark?_

“Bruder!” Germany snapped. “Mach keine Witze! Ich meine es Ernst!” _Brother! Don’t joke around! I’m serious!_

“Tschuldigung, Tschuldigung!” Prussia laughed. “Okay, ein Moment. Lass mich mal nach schauen…” There was a pause, and then he said helpfully: “Das englische Wort dafür ist ‘Shark’, wie es aussieht.” _Sorry, sorry! Okay, one moment. Let’s see… it looks like the English word for that is ‘Shark.’_

“Danke!” Germany said in relief. _Thank you!_ He made to hang up, but Prussia stopped him. 

“Warte mal, Deutschland!” Prussia said. “Wenn du mit Amerika redest, solltest du es etwa wie ‘America you dumbass there’s a motherfucking shark!’ sagen! Weil er so stockdumm ist. Vertrau mir!” _Wait a sec, Germany! When you’re talking with America, you should say it something like, ‘America you dumbass there‘s a motherfucking shark!’ Since he’s so utterly stupid. Trust me on that!_

So Germany, trusting his brother, lowered the phone from his ear and bellowed: “AMERICA YOU DUMBASS, THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKING SHARK!” 

“What?! There is?!” America cried, glancing around. He saw the fin and gave a shriek, quickly paddling to the shore and running up onto the beach with his board. “Holy fucking shit! I could’ve been lunch meat! Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?!” 

On the other end of the line, Germany could hear Prussia laughing. Germany sighed. He looked at Japan, who looked back at him, then looked at America and said, “Sorry, America. We only just noticed.” 

Germany pointedly lifted his cellphone back to his ear and said in English, “Sorry for the disruption, Prussia. What was the emergency you were calling to tell me about?” 

Prussia cackled on the other end of the line, and Germany nodded seriously, making “Mm,” noises and saying, “I see. That sounds serious. I will be there right away.” 

Prussia guffawed, and Germany hung up, turning to America. “I’m sorry, America,” he said, “but it seems that there’s been an emergency in parliament. I’m afraid I need to head back.” 

“Oh, that doesn’t sound good,” Japan said, straight-faced. “We should leave right away.” When he turned his back to America to go begin gathering the towels and umbrellas Germany saw him bite back a smile. 

“Oh,” America said, wilting a little. “Okay.” 

“On the bright side,” Germany said, as he walked over to help Japan gather their beach supplies, “if I hadn’t gotten that call from Prussia, I wouldn’t have noticed that you were about to be eaten by a shark.” 

“Ha ha!” America laughed, scratching the back of his head. “I guess that’s true!” 

“And you had turned down my idea of stealing a car,” Japan said to Germany later, once they’d parted ways with America. 

“Last I checked,” Germany said, “car theft was a state-punishable crime, but lying in casual social circumstances was not.” 

Japan smiled slightly and said, “Hai.” 

With a small smile of his own Germany looked around and asked, “Where?” 

And then a grinning Prussia bounded up to them calling, “Hi Bruder! Hi Japan!” and Germany cracked up quietly while Japan pressed a hand over his mouth to hide his smile. 

Pulling up in front of them, Prussia blinked at them both for a moment. “What?” he asked. 

“ _Hi Hai_ ,” Germany said, still chuckling. 

And Japan, straight-faced, nodded, “Hai.”

**Author's Note:**

> I could not resist the urge to include some German in this fic, because I love the language. I am, however, not a native speaker, so while I am confident that my German here is not _incorrect_ , I cannot guarantee that it is German phrasing that would sound natural to a native speaker. Any weirdness, though, should it exist, is my own fault and not Google Translate's. 
> 
> [EDIT 2020-07-12: Sincere gratitude to Anna for correcting the weirdnesses in my German. Everything should be fixed, now.]
> 
> Murder mysteries/detective novels/criminal thrillers are very popular in Germany, and are known as "Krimis."


End file.
